The Unprofessionals by Julie Hecht

Author:Julie Hecht
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2008-10-19T21:00:00+00:00

DRUGS PRESCRIBED BY AN ADDICT

IN THE SPRING, during that last year of his attempted drug rehabilitation, the boy had begun prescribing medication whenever we spoke on the phone. I told him I took double the maximum dose of Saint-John’s-wort during the day and valerian at night to sleep.

“Does it work?” he asked.

“No,” I said. “In the beginning, yes, but then the life situation continued on and the botanical remedies couldn’t keep up with the pace. I was given samples of real drugs.”

“Like what? What did you take?” he asked with too much sudden interest.

“Nothing. I took the samples home but couldn’t get myself to take the pills.”

“Like which ones?” he asked.

I rattled off all the names like a professional user of medications. “I stared at them. I read the tiny print of the pamphlets inside. One had two-tone pink granules in a gelatin capsule and a thirty-seven-percent rate of bad side effects.” Another one was turquoise blue with a smile-face printed with letters of the drug’s name. When I saw that, I threw out the whole batch.

Sometime later I came across the New York Times obituary of the man who invented the smile face. I had never known such a thing had to be invented by an actual person. It seemed more like the work of an idiot or some of the other feebleminded—work done in their spare time while waiting for psychiatric help in an institution. Still, I could feel only sympathy for the man, and sorry about his demise.

“I know a kid who took that pink one. It changed his life,” the boy said.

“Kids are different,” I said, thinking about those with decades of time ahead of them to get straightened out.

“I’ve taken it with no effects—good or bad,” he said.

Then we got on to the anti-anxieties.

“Xanax and the benzodiazepines are addictive,” he said with authority.

“I forget all about taking one unless a panic comes on,” I said.

“How often is that?” he asked.

“Not that often. Just when I think about the future and the past and the present,” I said. This was still before the new world situation.

“They produce euphoria, which causes the addiction,” he said.

“I never felt any euphoria. If you take it for anxiety, you just get back to normal.”

“Kids take it to produce euphoria,” he insisted.

“Why can’t they get euphoria from life?” I said as a cliché, but didn’t wait for the answer. “Have you tried Xanax?” I asked.

“They won’t give the drug patients benzodiazepines. They gave me Clonidine for a while. You should try it.”

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